I will begin writing my work logs as I did when I started them back in Method of Action: a simple description of the tasks performed, along some insight on how to do things better.

I woke up quite early, it was 7am perhaps. I got sidetracked by a number of things and noticed I begun work at 10:30. The thing that took me most of the day was writing the “financing proposal” for the next version of the Bézier Game, which I would like to crowdfund.

Asking for money, no matter if its payment for work done or work in advance, such as is the case with crowdfunding, is terribly difficult for me. These kind of tasks usually take the most of the day, and I end up drained because I always have trouble doing things which I do not want to do.

In work, one needs a secondary task with which to procrastinate productively. So, when I would get stuck I responded to a couple of emails, strategically chosen as to reduce the amount of time I’ll need in the future, and to advance other projects.

One of these projects is my university degree. It has been a nightmare. Last semester I applied for graduation, but it turned out one of my documents was missing a “legalization” where my high school diploma need to be verified against the archive because… I was given no reason, high school certificates from before a certain year need to be “legalized”, whatever that means. I suspect there used to be a lot of forged documents and this is a way of verifying it was real, but it caused me to waste an additional six months waiting for my degree.

In any case, I should add my degree to my list of projects.

After I was done writing the text for the crowdfunding page, and I had done my email chores, I head to the gym to blow some steam off, but I found myself weak. I always register the weights I use and how much I lift, but on days like these I tend to avoid it becuase it is a fluke. If I am usually performing 12 pull-ups and today I did 10, I know it is because my stomach is queasy, and it feels like there is no point in registering this.

But there’s also flukes on the other end of the spectrum, the day you feel particularly strong and are able to perform 14 pull-ups. Why is it that these are proudly registered? But this actually rarely happens now, because I know if I am able to exceed my normal progression I self-adjust and avoid setting the bar too high. You may be proud of yourself that day, but the next day you must perform the exercise and match your performance, you will resent your pride.

After the gym I biked to yoga. It was a particularly intense physical class, while I was hoping for something easier on the body, I still enjoyed it quite a lot. The teacher had a lot of praise for my classmates but not for myself. I’m not sure if it was noticeable that I was on a slump, but I interpreted the fact as such. I was not envious at all about the praise that I didn’t get, but at the same time I was surprised at not feeling the slightest tinge of envy.

I came back home and wondered what should I do until I wait for Óscar to show up for dinner. So I opened blank.page and I put myself to write. All came out quite easily, and I am surprised, but now I must understand how everything fits in in exploration.work.