Yesterday I finished moving into what will be my new home for some time. Last year, the place I was looking to rent had a max stay of 1 year, and I had to decide upfront. I recall being very hesitant about taking the full-year, I felt I could be dismissed at work at any time, and felt very insecure committing to a long stay and then being penalized for it.

Now, however, I’m confident I’ll make the full year, partially because of my own engagement at the job and because of my employer’s satisfaction with my work. It’s taken me a long time to adjust to being a full-time employee but I’m comfortable and engaged in this role now. We’re growing at a fast pace and a lot of new joiners are coming in. In this stage, institutional and industry knowledge is especially important and people of all areas come to me for advice. Because I was an early joiner I have footing in all teams and understand how the machinery works.

Some days ago I went shopping for clothes. I hate doing it, but much of my sports clothes had deeply entrenched sweat odor and were looking old and ugly. I wanted to be practical so I bought five white cotton shirts, and two plain shorts for my yoga practice. Then I saw a pair of green on greenish-white Adidas shoes. They looked exactly like merch for our brand, I thought “heh cool” and went on looking for shorts. Then I felt “wouldn’t it be cool taking these to the office?” and I took them home.

As I walked back home wearing the new shoes I thought “how strange that I would do this, I’d never identify with my employer” but then I thought “actually I do feel part of a joint quest” and that felt like a positive development in my character. In my career I’ve always identified with the journeyman or the mercenary, a free agent who commits to projects and moves on when they’re done, but this time around I’m getting vivid flashes of being part of a crew that navigates a ship captained by two talented bosses whom I trust very much but often have diverging opinions and I work to synthesize them.

I especially appreciate the admiration and respect I get from the young guys. They are really smart and dedicated themselves and this feeds back in a positive, egalitarian way. It doesn’t feel like any of us are looking up, but the kind of interaction where you could pat or be given a pat on the back by one of your co-workers.

Perhaps I am describing what a normal job should feel like, but is less and less common. I also know that this stage of the company is temporary, it will either grow or implode, but it won’t remain at this stage for years. As I find my footing at the workplace I sense a yearning to engage in longer term commitments (I’m considering a two-year training which I will write about, if it actually materializes).

So much has been written about work that perhaps I should actually start doing it.