During the past few weeks I’ve experienced desire for change, and yesterday it culminated in telling my mother I’ll move somewhere else in 2021. I don’t know where, but I know I wish to change my current circumstance, because what I have now has become stagnant.

The experience of stagnancy to me is the same as routine, but some routines have outcomes and this routine seems to go in circles without a destination. If I were asked—Where would you want to move right now? I’d probably go back to Madrid, but even then, I can’t say I knew what to do better, but at least I’d have the independence I yearn for.

When one lives in his hometown, his schedule does not belong to him. Social obligations eat up on creative time. Nina is begging for attention. I’m waiting for a truck to arrive to deliver gas. My mother closed all doors and the dog pooped inside the house, which required me to wash with bleach. I feel like I have a hundred of menial tasks which arise from my situation. A whatapp message from my cousing saying that he say a video with me yesterday on Facebook.

I remember my immense isolation in Madrid with affection, though at the time I felt a profound loneliness. The issue at hand seems to be not appreciating what one has at the current time. It would seem the solution is finding more gratefulness for what I currently have rather than yearning for something I will have in the future.

Even the, it seems I will move in 2021. Let this work log serve as a marker of prediction.