Today I woke up at 7am, put on gym shorts, a shirt and a sweat, and then put a minimal amount of weed into a hand rolled cigarette and smoked it at the park that is a stone throw away. There’s a secluded spot at the entrance of the parking lot in which I hope not to bother the people that also spend time there. That’s where I started and ended my day, and I’m coming back from the same spot doing the same activity (except this time it was not a minimal amount) at 21:45. I shall describe what happened inbetween.

The drizzle had made the sidewalk wet, and as I was approaching the gym partially hazed on the steep sidewalk, my left foot slid about an inch, giving me the chance to experiment the natural reaction of my body with my hands coming behind my back, preparing myself to catch my rear by placing my hands on the floor if I really slid until I fell. This gives me a certain satisfaction now that I didn’t experiment in the moment: I am well prepared for an urban fall though at the time it gave me a mini-heart attack. If I was in a haze, the adrenaline dispelled it immediately.

A woman was at the door and opened the door for herself without looking back. I held the door open for myself and I notice I’m just like her, but most people have (even going through extraordinary efforts) held the door open for me and I observe I should be more mindful of holding the door and in general being more attentive towards everyone, but hey at least I treat everyone the same, I wouldn’t hold the door open for the hot chick because I wouldn’t even know she’s behind me.

A woman was leaving the gym and our eyes met. She said “hola”. That’s extraordinary, I thought. “Hola”, I answered, and pressed into the turnstile to enter the weight room. I immediately weighed myself on the scale. I do it perhaps once per week, I’m trying to gain weight and I’m eating as much as I can, carbs included, and I’ve barely put on 2Kg. Those two kilos, however, have come lean and I feel stronger than before. I’m getting good results with zero effort, just hit your protein needs and eat pasta or whatever, it’s cheaper and it kills less animals. Eating a protein/veggie heavy diet allows me to really satiate myself and be lean without doing too much exercise. I’m in a kinda vigorexic frenzy and I feel my thoughts different. I don’t have all that much need to write anymore and that’s why I’m leaving gaps in my writing. However, as I write this, I notice that by describing experience I uncover my own veils faster (and I have many of them).

Today, however, I was not feeling well. Yesterday, day of the General strike in Madrid, a friend invited me to the gathering which would be a moving target because it started a bit early for me. I felt somewhat obligated to go but I thought better about it and I remembered a broken relationship, the failure on my part was not recognizing that you are going there to have a miserable time not because of their cause, but because they are your friends. Just don’t sour the cause. Of course you need some sympathy with the cause, it’s impossible to relate if not.

All this thought went to waste when at the time of the gathering (18:30) the most furious rain poured down the city. I wrote to my friend: I won’t be able to make it, I don’t even have an umbrella or a jacket or anything back home (damn minimalism), though upon further reflection I could have gone to Decathlon to buy the gear.

I notice myself playing an angle that did not happen: I was glad at having an out and I thought not about how to make it work, but how to get myself out of going to a manifestation under the rain (which I think is reasonable to excuse yourself). I felt I owed this to her though a mishap but the entire situation is under question and unrelated to the present moment.

Instead of going to Decathlon to buy rain gear I took the lazy option, which was to grab a city bike and pedal through the rain until I reached home. It was the kind of rain that is heavy and windy, and for some damn reason we always seem to be going in the direction of the storm. Ask yourself: why in a storm the wind never pushes us, making us lighter?

I was drenched wet when I reached the tiny house. The doorman of the building was outside and laughed whole heartedly at me, “ya te mojaste!”. He is the most annoying guy ever but some reason everyone seems to like him, even me. I laughed wholeheartedly too, saying “Ora si me agarró la lluvia, no manches!”, then informed me about my landlord coming earlier in the day to take a bag and the TV, agreed upon previously.

Inside the bag were many drinking glasses, a carpet and some bedding which I didn’t need. I never used the TV so I asked him to take it, even though it was conveniently hung on the wall. I thought I might buy a bike and hang it there, and partially because I want a wall to practice my handstands. The mount remains but a towel to cover it will… Hmmm I just noticed: the arm remains and I can pull it out to have feet support… Damn this is perfect to practice the negative press! I’m pleasantly surprised at having come to this realization while writing! I must take a photo:

(the sacred board was already sitting on top of the mount frame, interesting).

All this to say: I got home drenched wet. I pedaled like the devil and respected no traffic rules and yet was not a nuisance and kept myself safe. However, as you may remember before: we always move into the storm instead of out of it, and that’s why I was only drenched from the front and not from the back. The rain was cold like the weather, and I was only wearing a denim jacket. This is what probably was causing me to feel unwell the next day, at the gym.

Back to the gym I wasn’t really feeling it. I remained perhaps 15 minutes trying to find the way into my body, it but was really feeling off, so I left quickly (this is exceptional). I used the extra time to jerk off in the shower (hey I was looking for relief!).

The bike ride started wrong: BiciMad has not been redistributing bikes for months, and it’s a gamble to find one. Their app is crap and you can’t rely on it for an accurate bike count, so I walked to the next nearest station and pedaled an unusual grueling way to work. As I approached the station, behind the large recycling bins came an Uber and I scared him into suddenly breaking to a full stop. I acknowledged and parked the bike, running through the green light at the pedestrian crossing.

Work was work, let’s not discuss work.

At lunchtime I escaped to a class with one of my favorite teachers. Laren. At first I thought Laren liked me because she was extra attentive with me, but then I observed she is extra attentive with everyone, and with that it settled into a sort of platonic admiration for her ways because her practice is so intense yet she is so kind. I could write volumes about my favorite teachers, but now is not the time, the wash has ended and I must haste the closure into the present moment so I can hang the clothes to dry.

My performance was subpar and I did not enjoy the practice as much. My body felt aching, going deeper hurts in a particular way, but this did not feel like it. After class I spoke with nobody, despite my intentions of being more social. Laren remained explaining for a good 15 minutes to a guy who is admittedly dedicated and serious, so before and after my shower I would find them discussing the particulars of practice. I left without saying goodbye, which I see now is a mistake, it was ok to interrupt them after such a lengthy exchange.

After class I biked back to work. Work is work, but at work I browsed hacker news and found a skill for socratic questioning to I fed it into Claude and it said: ok I understand, now what skill do you want to learn about through socratic questioning, it asked. Hmmm… good question, what skill do I want to learn? I want to learn the art of conversation, I told it. And then we had an interesting exchange where it rated my conversation. It said I was too questioning and not self-revealing enough. As I was working I just got a taste of it but I liked it, I must look more into it tomorrow, or set a time for AI personal work as I was doing before, I’ve gone very deep into the body at a place where words cease to exist, it’s amazing but winter is here and I will resume computer hobbies.

After work I wondered if I should go to class with one of my favorite teachers: Sofia, a Mexican yoga teacher with model-like looks who gives a mean class. There was something very salient at this practice: I thought I had reserved the class but when I arrived the Silver Fox said he couldn’t find me on the list of attendants, so they put me on hold for the full class to see if a last minute cancellation came in. I waited in the reception area upstairs until they told me I could take a spot. There were two free and my usual spot was taken, so I took the one next to it.

There’s a beautiful classmate with good practice with whom I’ve been neighbors two classes. She looked at me and made a sad face. I was startled for a moment and then I smiled: I also like practicing next to you, I thought. I took my spot and had a great practice. My aches and imbalances were gone and I gave myself into practice. The thought of her never came back until our paths crossed into the dressing rooms. She made a broad smile and said “see you”, I hope I did the same and was not startled again.

I left the yoga studio and saw just one bike at the station. I was about to turn around because a single bike is a broken bike, but I might try my luck anyways (we’d all do, I think) so I was pleasantly surprised when the bike released and I rode it home. Then I went to the supermarket to buy three things: soap, milk, and coffee. Would you believe me if I told you I’ve been so busy exercising that I live like an addict! I’ve showered with hand soap for a week now, and then went without coffee. I don’t understand this vigorexia but I know I need to write more.

Then I rolled myself a joint and went to the spot which I described before. In the middle of writing this I had dinner: a readymade pizza which fits in a pan, and raw fresh tuna cooked in lime with lettuce as a salad. It’s 00:06 and I still have to get the laundry done. Good night.