I sometimes debate wether I should have a framework for the thing what is I’m doing most lately, which is a strange kind of introspection into my current state, because I do observe with attachment: I wish I had less bleak things to report, but the inner weather is a storm of sorts, and this mood is not conductive to work, as it demands inner attention to deal with correctly.

When these kinds of shake-ups happen, the ego grasps for fixed points to orient itself, for one is swimming in the storms of the subconscious, and there is a natural attempt to grasp at that which is fixed: Truth, timeless beauty, perennial wisdom, because meaning at this stage has been understood as a weaving of self-narrative, the dissipation of the self-narrative can be met with acceptance or yearning.

In order to distinguish what is that I yearn from the self narrative, and the doors that its dissipation would open, a brief analysis can be made: what is that which I love about the self narrative, and what is that that I could do without it.

I would say: I am afraid that I simply disconnect from my own myths in order to appear normal, that I have not walked naked and barefoot on the face of this earth, that I have not drunk the purest water I’ve found upstream in the mountain, that I have not danced and made love in the most passionate ways, as well as kept years of celibacy in keeping with I perceive as God’s will, but this I must question too.

The fixed points that I seek, which are them? There is always one fixed point: that would be The One. Seeking the all merciful, all accepting, nothing-exists-out-of-it and we are all instances of it. But in this philosophy there is nothing fixed to grasp on. I must accept the inner storms as waves of the ocean, which I deal with the best that I can but sometimes throw me down and tumble me underwater.

I deal with my own existence the best that I can, and even to external eyes it is evident that I suffer no privation, the truth is that I perceive myself as lacking, as not being as being in the way that I am at the current moment, and this is a natural drive in my character which can either energize or drag down.

Do I really wish to escape this delusion? That there is a storm inside of me, that I must choose between awakening my own inner narrative, or that I should explore the benefits of its extinction? It seems clear, after writing, that I wish to drown the inner narrative, because I do not like what it speaks. But it is unnecessary, I have no choice about the volume of the narrative, but I do have a choice to abstract and observe.

  1. This would be the way of the inner refuge, in which one—through observation of the breath—is able to train attention in such a way that it knows the path to find the inner refuge. What is the inner refuge? The place within yourself that narrative has no place. Your narrative is not yourself, look inside to find it out.

  2. What is Truth, then? It is known intuitively. When seen, it elicits the aesthetic sense, and is often experienced as beauty. Truth is beyond False? It would necessarily create a mirror image, but as Jodorowsky made evident: is is possible to appreciate Truth by observation of the False.

  3. If we can learn what is True from exploring the False, then it holds that they possess equal value, everything that happens to us is karmically neutral, but it will be our own karma—how we deal with this experience.

  4. This is why there is nothing good and bad, and Truth and No-Truth do not map out to them, but can we say that there is nothing bad? A pedophile sows No-Truth into a child, the only way that No-Truth can be extracted is by flipping it into Truth, but that No-Truth often corrupts the entire individual and he becomes entirely No-Truth, a pederast himself.

  5. It would seem obvious, but often times we choose not to see: No-Truth has a corrupting behavior, it is the mirror image of God, and it is in the individual to fight for him or herself against it. With the oblivion of religion, we have lost touch with the methods available to us to to fight the corruption taking place within us.

  6. What role pleasure has with corruption? Can it be said that pleasure is related to beauty, and we know beauty to be a direct descendant of Truth. If beauty is to Truth, what is ugliness to No-Truth? Can one can obtain pleasure from ugliness? This would be a corrupted state of being.

  7. What role plays aesthetics in this? I am too ignorant on the subject, despite being a designer. Draw from inner experience: what is an aesthetic experience? A vibration with the authors intention. Who is the author? Consciousness.

  8. The bridge to nature: Nature is a manifestation of primal consciousness, following her dictum will never stray you from the path. To become more natural is to become more True. But this True predates the first duality, we reach the Tao levels, that which has no opposite because it is the mother of all things, it predates duality.

Now, if I were to put this rambling into an actionable list, how would I practice what I preach?

  1. Finding the Inner Refuge, at least once a day.
  2. Seek Truth, in whatever form it may present to you.
  3. Accept the No-Truth, in whatever form it may present to you.
  4. Prevent Corruption.
  5. Prevent Inner-Corruption.
  6. Understand Aesthetics.
  7. Seek pleasure through the route of beauty.
  8. Imitate Nature.