State: altered

A long productive day. Was it really productive? Well, I technically released the v0 of Runge to René, so some degree of productivity is felt on the day one releases something. I find myself immersed in work, not in the best of moods, but this mood is often necessary to push oneself past that idealism that brings great inspiration but also makes projects impossible to deliver upon.

How does one present the result of a spiritual exploration as a practical means of solving something? Is this a way of designing? I suppose it is. But let us make this a five year project on which I build upon. I will understand what this project means when it is “done”, and any meta thinking about it at this stage is ego-in-action.

In the matter of foul mood as necessary for work, I wonder if this is truly necessary. The inner game one plays is “becoming tough” and pushing through aversions to work, or impulses towards procrastination. When I read my Twitter of only a handful of extremely curated accounts I still sometimes roll my eyes and I’m gently reminded I should go back to work.

I’ve practiced a bit of awareness, instead of heading to hacker news on my phone, I will answer myself a question that I have been pondering lately that the internet can answer. It could be something as simple as what bug was creeping in my house but often it will be work related topics.

Anything that is a “stream” where you can tune out and be fed from it, you should have complete control over the ingredients. Let your stream be as pure as possible. I’ve never been glad about clicking on the trending topic. Be ruthless letting the AI know what you don’t like. Silo yourself if necessary, it is ruthless out there.

And yet I seem to produce a stream blabbering to which I hope nobody wastes their time reading through them. If there is a reader of these words, let him or her know that they should not waste their time reading the ramblings of this man for whose mental sanity cannot be accounted for.

These are just high thoughts. It is 21:14, should we drink from the polluted stream that is YouTube? Clearly not, I should stop doing that for lunch, or anytime actually. You could ask YouTube what is on the menu, which is limitless, yet you choose the day’s special because you are lazy, and then YouTube starts recommending things for lazy people.

Wake up. There is nothing to be seen but the things that are worth seeing. The things that are worth seeing are the natural, inner impulses of curiosity, not the things that are being fed to you. This is just the old TV repackaged in another format.

Which is a shame, because it had so much potential… It is time to wrap this up. It seems a topic worth writing about when I’m unaltered.