I stumbled upon this in my email. I was greatly amused by it, as it echoes my current life situation (in energy, but one can dream!). Claude said it could not translate everything because of its filters. I’m glad to have written something that’s not allowed, and at the same time I’m aware I was 24 then and an immature comment to make. I’m glad to report absolutely no pedo tendencies but I experience it intuitively, many young attractive women seem to me like unripe fruit. Anyways, to the letter itself. Spanish uncensored follows.

I also want to state that, in the recipients, I had a female and a gay friend. Moni (F) basically answered “I’m glad that you are having fun in Vallarta! [here’s my life update]. Much simpler times indeed.

So, let me tell you, the partying here is fucking great. Yesterday was Christine’s anniversary party and we had to go dressed in white, and as you all know white isn’t my favorite color, so I had to buy some clothes to go. I went to a department store called Lans, which is like the Suburbia around here, and bought myself a cool little shirt and pants from the brand “Escolar,” because I already knew I was never going to wear them again — the pants cost me dirt cheap, 150 pesos.

The quality of the women at Christine was unbeatable: tons of chicks in those pleated little skirts, little tops, belly-button piercings and defined abs. I couldn’t stop staring at all of them. I wanted to give them all the eeeeiinnnall. Open bar until two in the morning (and as always I didn’t have to pay a cent), so I proceeded to get myself wasted.

Long story short. So I met a dancer from the Mayan Palace and told her my friends call me Kami Travolta because of how badass I dance. After proceeding to kick at the air and do the robot, she was fascinated with me and we made out. That girl was made of stone, no joke, rock solid. And she had a goddamn Colorado canyon in her lower back. It made me feel bad, because I’ve been going soft with all this alcohol.

And seriously, you have to see the amount of ass there is everywhere. Every time I get on the bus I have mental jerk-off sessions, because there are at least three thick but hot chicks in miniskirts. “Sweetheart, come sit on my lap.” And since there are so many gay guys here, there’s that much more for us. Right now a sixteen-year-old who works at the cyber café just walked in — I’ll skip the line that follows, since it’s the writer being creepy about a minor, and I’d rather not put that into English. I simply can’t stop marveling at the amount of meat there is around here.

Today is the company Christmas party at the owner’s house. They say he really likes karaoke, so he makes everyone sing. I’m going to shove the microphone up the fucking owner’s ass so he’ll stop with his bullshit.

I have to go because the boss just got here, bye!

All of you come out here, this place is unbeatable! Mark

Puerto Vallarta, Dic 2004

Pues les cuento que la peda sigue de huevisimos aqui, ayer fue aniversario del Christine y teniamos que ir vestidos de blanco, y como bien saben el blanco no es mi color favorito asi que tuve que comprar ropita para ir. Fui a una tienda departamental llamada Lans que es como el Suburbia de por aca y me compre una camisita chida y un pantalon marca “escolar” porque ya sabia que jamas lo iba a utilizar de nuevo, el pantalon me salio vara vara en $150.

La calidad de las mujeres en el christine era inmejorable: muchas viejas con esas falditas plegadas, topsito, arete al ombligo y abs marcados. Yo no podia dejar de mirarlas a todas. Les queria dar eeeeiinnnall. La barra libre era hasta las dos de la mañana (y como siempre no tuve que pagar un quinto) asi que procedi a alcoholizarme.

Para qué les hago la historia larga. Pues conoci a una bailarina del Mayan Palace y le dije que mis amigos me decian kami travolta de lo chingon que bailaba. Despues de proceder a dar pataditas al aire y hacer el robotron quedo fascinada conmigo y nos dimos un agarron. Esa vieja era de piedra, no mamen, durisima. y tenia un puto cañon de colorado en la espalda baja. Me senti mal porque yo me he estado suavizando con tanto alcohol.

Y no mamen, tienen que ver la cantidad de culos que hay por todos lados, cada vez que me subo al camion me hago chaquetas mentales porque hay por lo menos tres viejas chachonas pero buenas con mini falditas. “Reinita, venga sientese en mis piernas”. Y por lo mismo que aqui hay tanto gay pues nos tocan de a mas. Ahorita acaba de entrar una dieciseisañera que trabaja en el cyber cafe con minifaldita y ya me esta dando lo pederasta. Simplemente no puedo dejar de admirarme por la cantidad de carne que hay.

Hoy es posada de la empresa en casa del dueño. Dicen que le gusta mucho el karaoke asi que hace a todos cantar. Yo voy a meterle el microfono por el culo al puto dueño para que deje de estar haciendo sus mamadas.

tengo que irme porque ya llego el jefe bye!

Vengan todos esto esta inmejorable! Mark